11/30/2004
Sunshine and Creosote
Relationships are funny things. Buy a big ship, and put all your relations on it, and you'll see what I mean. Today I discovered that the lovely Brazilian? girl that I spoke about the other day has a boyfriend. (awww)
In other news, my father requested that I go out in nice clothes, and use a defective pump to spray a toxic chemical in my eye. Well, not quite, but it's always nice to try and pin the blame for our stupidity on other people. In actual fact, the sum of my orders was 'creosote the back garden' and since I passed initiative test one, I assumed he meant the wooden bits of the back garden, and not the plants. The pump should have sprayed a fine mist, but the nozzle had been sabotaged by the Russians and was therefore only able to fire a thin jet with an amazing rebound range.
For the record, it WAS the Russians, and after the incident (which resulted in no loss of vision, because it was in my useless eye) I finished creosoting the back garden. Then, after much consideration, I sprayed the flowers too.
Never, ever watch more than 9 episodes of Deep Space Nine in one sitting. It just isn't healthy. I spent most of Sunday recovering from an incredible bout of stupidity involving very little sleep.
Speaking of which, I am in danger of repeating my little debacle, so I will wish you good night on these final words...
I may be crazy, but I'm not alone. Judith managed to catch up with me today in number of episodes watched. Then we watched two more.
In other news, my father requested that I go out in nice clothes, and use a defective pump to spray a toxic chemical in my eye. Well, not quite, but it's always nice to try and pin the blame for our stupidity on other people. In actual fact, the sum of my orders was 'creosote the back garden' and since I passed initiative test one, I assumed he meant the wooden bits of the back garden, and not the plants. The pump should have sprayed a fine mist, but the nozzle had been sabotaged by the Russians and was therefore only able to fire a thin jet with an amazing rebound range.
For the record, it WAS the Russians, and after the incident (which resulted in no loss of vision, because it was in my useless eye) I finished creosoting the back garden. Then, after much consideration, I sprayed the flowers too.
Never, ever watch more than 9 episodes of Deep Space Nine in one sitting. It just isn't healthy. I spent most of Sunday recovering from an incredible bout of stupidity involving very little sleep.
Speaking of which, I am in danger of repeating my little debacle, so I will wish you good night on these final words...
I may be crazy, but I'm not alone. Judith managed to catch up with me today in number of episodes watched. Then we watched two more.
11/27/2004
Tables and Scissors
It's a bit disconcerting when you arrive in a pub, and reach in your pocket to get some money and realise ... that the money is there ... but that you also have a foot long pair of shearing scissors in your inside jacket pocket. God's sense of humour being what it is, at the exact moment I discovered I had a highly lethal and illegal weapon on my person, my gaze also met the eyes of a beautiful bar stewardess that I recognised from elsewhere.
The grin must have looked a bit sickly. At moments like these it would be great to see the scene from a different viewpoint, mostly because you would be someone else and not suffering the heart crushing / soul destroying anxiety attack which got me from two fronts. Plus, these things are far more funny if you are someone else.
I had a Really good reason for carrying the scissors. They were for cutting strings on balloons, for the youth group I help to run. Hopefully that instantly transforms the image you have of me from psychotic nutter to absent minded humanitarian, but had I been rumbled I doubt it would have been as easy to convince the Police.
I also lied to my friends last night, and told them that I had been thrown out of loads of places. I put this down to alcohol, bravado and stupidity. (The 21st birthday thing was true though) But that's the only place.
Sunny and the newly appeared Joe - people you haven't met yet don't exist, everyone you've never met knows that - danced on the table, which would have been the highlight of the evening had the music not been so absolutely fantastic, and the Portuguese? bar stewardess so beautiful.
Today, on the other hand, has been a bit of a non-starter, apart from the fact that Ben used the big toilet for the first time (my nephew), and he used the word 'ordinary' in a sentence. Just to give you a clue how impressive that is... Ben is Two. Go Ben!
Good grief. Something else Must have happened today...
Oh yeah, I started writing a blog, and I finally read Jonathan's and Clare's. Go me!
The grin must have looked a bit sickly. At moments like these it would be great to see the scene from a different viewpoint, mostly because you would be someone else and not suffering the heart crushing / soul destroying anxiety attack which got me from two fronts. Plus, these things are far more funny if you are someone else.
I had a Really good reason for carrying the scissors. They were for cutting strings on balloons, for the youth group I help to run. Hopefully that instantly transforms the image you have of me from psychotic nutter to absent minded humanitarian, but had I been rumbled I doubt it would have been as easy to convince the Police.
I also lied to my friends last night, and told them that I had been thrown out of loads of places. I put this down to alcohol, bravado and stupidity. (The 21st birthday thing was true though) But that's the only place.
Sunny and the newly appeared Joe - people you haven't met yet don't exist, everyone you've never met knows that - danced on the table, which would have been the highlight of the evening had the music not been so absolutely fantastic, and the Portuguese? bar stewardess so beautiful.
Today, on the other hand, has been a bit of a non-starter, apart from the fact that Ben used the big toilet for the first time (my nephew), and he used the word 'ordinary' in a sentence. Just to give you a clue how impressive that is... Ben is Two. Go Ben!
Good grief. Something else Must have happened today...
Oh yeah, I started writing a blog, and I finally read Jonathan's and Clare's. Go me!
