11/27/2004
Tables and Scissors
It's a bit disconcerting when you arrive in a pub, and reach in your pocket to get some money and realise ... that the money is there ... but that you also have a foot long pair of shearing scissors in your inside jacket pocket. God's sense of humour being what it is, at the exact moment I discovered I had a highly lethal and illegal weapon on my person, my gaze also met the eyes of a beautiful bar stewardess that I recognised from elsewhere.
The grin must have looked a bit sickly. At moments like these it would be great to see the scene from a different viewpoint, mostly because you would be someone else and not suffering the heart crushing / soul destroying anxiety attack which got me from two fronts. Plus, these things are far more funny if you are someone else.
I had a Really good reason for carrying the scissors. They were for cutting strings on balloons, for the youth group I help to run. Hopefully that instantly transforms the image you have of me from psychotic nutter to absent minded humanitarian, but had I been rumbled I doubt it would have been as easy to convince the Police.
I also lied to my friends last night, and told them that I had been thrown out of loads of places. I put this down to alcohol, bravado and stupidity. (The 21st birthday thing was true though) But that's the only place.
Sunny and the newly appeared Joe - people you haven't met yet don't exist, everyone you've never met knows that - danced on the table, which would have been the highlight of the evening had the music not been so absolutely fantastic, and the Portuguese? bar stewardess so beautiful.
Today, on the other hand, has been a bit of a non-starter, apart from the fact that Ben used the big toilet for the first time (my nephew), and he used the word 'ordinary' in a sentence. Just to give you a clue how impressive that is... Ben is Two. Go Ben!
Good grief. Something else Must have happened today...
Oh yeah, I started writing a blog, and I finally read Jonathan's and Clare's. Go me!
The grin must have looked a bit sickly. At moments like these it would be great to see the scene from a different viewpoint, mostly because you would be someone else and not suffering the heart crushing / soul destroying anxiety attack which got me from two fronts. Plus, these things are far more funny if you are someone else.
I had a Really good reason for carrying the scissors. They were for cutting strings on balloons, for the youth group I help to run. Hopefully that instantly transforms the image you have of me from psychotic nutter to absent minded humanitarian, but had I been rumbled I doubt it would have been as easy to convince the Police.
I also lied to my friends last night, and told them that I had been thrown out of loads of places. I put this down to alcohol, bravado and stupidity. (The 21st birthday thing was true though) But that's the only place.
Sunny and the newly appeared Joe - people you haven't met yet don't exist, everyone you've never met knows that - danced on the table, which would have been the highlight of the evening had the music not been so absolutely fantastic, and the Portuguese? bar stewardess so beautiful.
Today, on the other hand, has been a bit of a non-starter, apart from the fact that Ben used the big toilet for the first time (my nephew), and he used the word 'ordinary' in a sentence. Just to give you a clue how impressive that is... Ben is Two. Go Ben!
Good grief. Something else Must have happened today...
Oh yeah, I started writing a blog, and I finally read Jonathan's and Clare's. Go me!
