10/15/2005
How To Be Good
Hello again.
Have you ever experienced the power of God to thwart your plans? You are trying to do something simple, and to all intents and purposes completely benign, and suddenly it feels like you are trying to climb a forty foot smooth glass wall that has been coated with (invisible) syrup?
Please say yes. It's lonely on my planet. In any case, I'm not entirely sure that my motives were all that benign. Suffice it to say that I like someone, and I just wanted to mantain some level of contact. No, I'm not in any way cheating on my girlfriend. My ex-girlfriend Ewelina, whose name I shamefully mispelled in the last post, left me over a month ago. That's the problem with these rather erratic posts of mine. They are a bit like strobe lighting... most of the time, the bits that you miss just make the whole movement a bit more interesting, but occasionally you miss something important.
In any case, wherever I went computers suddenly developed a bizarre form of obstinacy. No, you can't e-mail her. Anyone else is fine, but you'll get a message from the postmaster if you even think of clicking the send button to her. And MSN? Ho ho ho. We won't even let you log in, in case you meet her... and when through sheer obstinacy, (trying five computers and walking for six minutes - don't knock it, that's a long way to go when it's just a vague crush) I managed to get through on the sixth computer, would you believe it that after waiting around like a lost puppy for two hours she never showed up. Doh.
Honesty forces me to point out at this stage that she hadn't said that she was going to turn up, but a member of my community who won't be named for legal reasons said that she was often on MSN, and might even be there now, hint hint, nudge nudge. I thought she was hinting, but apparently not.
I had to go, you see, because had it been a veiled hint, then I would have been being horribly unreasonable and devastatingly rude, etc, etc. Etiquette also seemed to forbid me asking if it was a hint at the time. Ah well, what's a couple of hours between friends?
So that's the fanatsically oh-so interesting gossip happening with me at the moment.
I ran my first couple of retreats as well. I found out what it's like to really be in charge in the 'buck stops here' way. I have to be official with official people, occasionally bossy to the kids, and remember EVERYTHING. It's just a teensy tiny bit stressful. It's good though, it's what I asked for, and I think what I wanted. I get paid and everything... which is good.
Right, I have to go and book tickets to go to Poland before my nerve fails me.
God bless, speak to you soon,
Terence
p.s. the post has this title, which is a book by Nick Hornby - because it has very little to do with being good. Much like Nick Hornby's book, which has his usual vaguely patronising ending about happy consumerism.
Have you ever experienced the power of God to thwart your plans? You are trying to do something simple, and to all intents and purposes completely benign, and suddenly it feels like you are trying to climb a forty foot smooth glass wall that has been coated with (invisible) syrup?
Please say yes. It's lonely on my planet. In any case, I'm not entirely sure that my motives were all that benign. Suffice it to say that I like someone, and I just wanted to mantain some level of contact. No, I'm not in any way cheating on my girlfriend. My ex-girlfriend Ewelina, whose name I shamefully mispelled in the last post, left me over a month ago. That's the problem with these rather erratic posts of mine. They are a bit like strobe lighting... most of the time, the bits that you miss just make the whole movement a bit more interesting, but occasionally you miss something important.
In any case, wherever I went computers suddenly developed a bizarre form of obstinacy. No, you can't e-mail her. Anyone else is fine, but you'll get a message from the postmaster if you even think of clicking the send button to her. And MSN? Ho ho ho. We won't even let you log in, in case you meet her... and when through sheer obstinacy, (trying five computers and walking for six minutes - don't knock it, that's a long way to go when it's just a vague crush) I managed to get through on the sixth computer, would you believe it that after waiting around like a lost puppy for two hours she never showed up. Doh.
Honesty forces me to point out at this stage that she hadn't said that she was going to turn up, but a member of my community who won't be named for legal reasons said that she was often on MSN, and might even be there now, hint hint, nudge nudge. I thought she was hinting, but apparently not.
I had to go, you see, because had it been a veiled hint, then I would have been being horribly unreasonable and devastatingly rude, etc, etc. Etiquette also seemed to forbid me asking if it was a hint at the time. Ah well, what's a couple of hours between friends?
So that's the fanatsically oh-so interesting gossip happening with me at the moment.
I ran my first couple of retreats as well. I found out what it's like to really be in charge in the 'buck stops here' way. I have to be official with official people, occasionally bossy to the kids, and remember EVERYTHING. It's just a teensy tiny bit stressful. It's good though, it's what I asked for, and I think what I wanted. I get paid and everything... which is good.
Right, I have to go and book tickets to go to Poland before my nerve fails me.
God bless, speak to you soon,
Terence
p.s. the post has this title, which is a book by Nick Hornby - because it has very little to do with being good. Much like Nick Hornby's book, which has his usual vaguely patronising ending about happy consumerism.
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